Comparisons and milestones

Being a twin, I have always found that I was compared in almost every way possible to my brother. It is just natural for people to compare twins. I find myself comparing Corinne and Jacob as well. Although they are fraternal and not identical as my brother and I, comparisons can be made. All babies are expected to reach certain milestones at certain expected times. At the age of ten months, Corinne and Jacob have not hit the same milestones.
Corinne cut her first tooth three months ago; Jacob, last week.
Corinne is crawling on her hands and knees while Jake has not learned to roll over yet.
Jacob is about 4 pounds lighter than his sister.
Corinne eats whatever you spoon into her mouth with little to no complaining. Feeding Jacob by mouth can be challenging.
While it is obvious why Jacob is so delayed it may be frustrating to a parent who is expecting too much. If you are reading this as a parent of a child with HLHS or that has suffered a stroke or other brain damage - do not get hung up on the milestones. It is a waste of time and energy worrying about silly things like that. Your child has gone through a serious trauma, let the child proceed on their own timeline.
When my older son was reaching the milestone the experts say he should start talking, he was obviously delayed. He had so many ear infections that we had to have tubes placed in his ears to help them drain. He had temporary hearing loss due to the infections. I was so worried that he would fall behind. I was constantly comparing him to his classmates in daycare. He is now 5 years old and the picture of health. I was worried he wouldn't talk as quickly as the other children but that worry has evaporated - I can't get him to shut up half of the time! Milestones may seem important at the time, but they are only meant to compare. If you are really very worried about your child not meeting a milestone, seek help. There are many social services that are ready to help you and your child get the help that is needed.
If you are the parent of a special-needs child, you may have already found your inner-strength and are coping just fine. If you have not yet found your inner-strength - don't worry about it, there is no milestone for that.