Complication...

Tonight is going to be another long night as I lie awake thinking about the implications of what two of the cardiologists said today. One said that Jake's heart was not beating as strongly as he'd like to see and the other said that while that was true, Jake's heart has just come through a serious trauma and needed time to heal. I hope that the second cardiologist is the right one. If the first one is right, it means that Jacob's condition will continue to deteriorate and he will be eventually put back on the heart-lung machine and put on the transplant wait list. A transplant is not an option I particularly care for. Jacob would have to take anti-rejection drugs all of his life making him susceptible to a great many immune system problems. A simple cold or ear infection turns into a big deal.
When the twins were born, we saved their cord blood in the hope that one day science would have progressed enough that a new heart could be grown in a Petrie dish somewhere. Maybe one day his heart will be replaced by one grown in a lab from his own stem cells, but that is not possible right now. Other than the problems a transplant would create, there are not a whole lot of five-month-old hearts waiting for recipients. Infant mortality in this country is pleasingly super-low...unless you are the one waiting for the organ.
Before any of this happened I was a supporter of organ donations. A friend at work has had a double lung transplant almost ten years ago at NY Presbyterian and he celebrates every year by hosting a charity golf outing at Rock Hill in Manorville. I am going to be pestering him a lot more with my questions...sorry In advance Charlie.
I am trying to stay positive and retain the sanity that I have left but it is getting harder as time goes on. Just when I think Jake is doing better, life throws him a curveball.
I can't say enough for the the support that I have received from close friends, friends I am not as close to as I would prefer, past acquiantances from days gone-by and, of course, family both close and extended. Now I seem to need the support of the Big Guy upstairs. I hope He is listening to all of the hopes and prayers being said for Jacob.